Pregnancy...

It is such a fun moment of life when you are married, discover you are pregnant, and get to share that amazing news with your husband. Some moms shared stories tonight of those moments, and fun ways they told their husbands the good news.

Not everyone's story is easy to remember, some are of a joy mixed with pain and fear, if it was an unplanned pregnancy, or one outside of marriage. One of the consequences of sex outside marriage is pregnancy. Chapter 5 of "Sex has a Pricetag" talks about this. Do guys know that the law now requires them to pay child support until the baby reaches age 18? That didn't used to be the case, but now dad can get his wages garnished monthly to help raise the baby he helps father.

Chapter 5 lists some ways teens try to not get pregnant-it's worth getting the book and reading it. Each option has definite problems- condoms, birth control, other types of sex than intercourse, withdrawal method. Regardless, not surprisingly, many still end up pregnant. Our discussion tonight was of 5 different options of choices for a girl who finds herself unmarried and pregnant. We broke into groups and let the girls talk through the pros and cons of each choice, and also talked about all the people who would be affected by each choice.

The 5 options we could think of were: 1) raise the baby alone 2) marry the guy 3) adoption 4) abortion 5) have parents help raise baby.

There was lively conversation, emotional stories, and very thought-provoking realizations that came from discussing all of these options, and the ramifications of each. One lie that we hear often is "well it's my body, I have the right". It's probably true that the woman pregnant is affected more than anyone else, and does have "rights". But what is even more true, is that every choice we make affects someone else, and it's usually a ripple affect to many people. It's never just about us. It's never just a choice that "we decided to have sex and it's our business". The baby itself has the most rights, to be born, taken care of, and valued.

Here are some thoughts you all came up with:

When you get pregnant, if you decide to keep baby, your friends and family around you are affected by your decision when they help you take care of baby. The baby is given life and a chance which is ideal, but will live without having a dad in the home.

When you get an abortion, the baby is affected obviously, you will be affected more than you can know, the dad of baby is sometimes heartbroken and can't even be a part of the decision, the family members are robbed of what should be a wonderful family relationship. God's heart is broken.

When you choose adoption, you, along with the dad and your family will have to go through the heartbreak of giving a baby up. There are positives also, like the baby is blessed with a good home, you've blessed a couple really wanting children. Even with a great family, the child will have issues to deal with too.

If you marry the dad, you all decided that could go good or bad, just depending. Everyone seemed to think having your parents help raise the baby was awkward, and affected alot of relationships, but that happens alot everyday. There are many grandparents raising grandkids.

It helps to think through these choices ahead of time, and think about what life would be like if you found yourself in this position. There are options, but all of them come with a cost. All of these situations are difficult. Ideally, you won't get yourself into this position! But many girls do, and we want you to be ready to know how to think through situations like this, even to help someone who may find themself pregnant.

One of our own girls told her testimony tonight of her mom, pregnant with her, found herself on the abortion table, about to abort her, when God spoke to her to stay pregnant. God spoke twice. She eventually got up, left, had her baby and saw many miracles of how God provided for her through amazing miracles. It's an amazing story of the hope and grace of God in truly impossible circumstances. He can turn anything around. We heard of another girl, not in our city, who was raped, almost had an abortion, but decided to go through with pregnancy. She has an amazing beautiful daughter now.

A big problem that we need to think about how to deal with is this- many abortions that occur are from Christian girls who are afraid to tell anyone they are pregnant. Many end up at places where they can get an abortion quietly and never have to tell anyone, to avoid the shame and stigma. What we've got to create is an atmosphere or culture where girls are not afraid to come to us with this issue. Yes it's difficult, but we have to be able to help girls through when they find themselves in need. We as believers should be the place they can come for help. I think a huge part of this answer needs to come from teens themselves, and we adults need to listen to them in how to solve this. It deserves a lot of attention and thought.